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oknope:

what if your pillow could collect your dreams and when you wake up you plug it into your computer and watch them over again

xpw:

so today at work I cleaned this old man’s golf clubs and I thought he was getting his wallet out of his bag but instead he pulls out this giant plastic target bag of yellow plums. he tipped us in yellow plums. he told us not to tell anyone we had these and I looked them up because they were so good and these plums are illegal in the US. I got tipped in illegally imported plums. 

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